Reflection #9: Exhausted / A.J. Hendry

Reading: Luke 9

To be honest, I’m exhausted.

The week, the year, life, it’s ground me down, today I’m feeling it more than most.

In today’s reading I noted Jesus’ attempt to extract himself from the crowds, from the busyness, from the work, but despite the attempt, the “crowds found out where he was… And followed him.”

The work doesn’t end, the endless struggle against injustice will never be complete (not in my life time anyway), there are always those who need. In Christian culture we often encourage one another to “have a quiet time”, “give it to God”, “spend time in prayer”, but you know what, sometimes, and some stages of life, it’s just not possible.

In my current stage of life, I would gladly take time for prayer or stillness, if I could get it. But, the reality is that this stage in my life (amidst community and kids, work and just life) I don’t have that sort of control over my own time. It’s hard, but you know what, it’s ok.

I’m encouraged that even the Messiah struggled with this, was faced with the impossibility of it all, that even He tried to take moments to himself, only to have the work, and the need track him down.

But, what I’m learning is that even though I can’t control all the aspects of my day, and even though I can’t reduce the amount that I do in a day, I can still choose not to be busy. Busy, I’m learning, is a state of being, it’s a posture.

Busy people are not busy because of how much they are doing, busy people are busy because of the way they move, breath, and interact in and with the world.

I am practicing moving from being busy, to just being.

I am learning to be still in the movement of life, to be where I am amidst the craziness of human existence, to embrace life as life, for life is what it is, and in the end, though there is some things I can control, there is a whole lot I cannot.

I can only do what I can do.

A.J. Hendry

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